Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
How external is "for external use only"?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Please don't give away my fajitas
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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