my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
