he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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