At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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