hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The best revenge is premature balding
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
