Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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