If i come over, it means nothing
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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