if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
