Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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