New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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