it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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