Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
How's work?
Spinning.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
