Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize