So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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