She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
