You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
