STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
wanna go halves on a baby?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
