Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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