can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
