She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
