69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
