is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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