I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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