i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
