I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
