pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
