Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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