no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
