am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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