It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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