They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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