were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
