Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
