Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
