Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
