your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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