It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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