I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Small penises have feelings too.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
