there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Watching her eat just hurts me
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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