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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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