yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
