I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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