I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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