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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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