member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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