Apparently you make a good broom.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He better not be in your backpack
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
