Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
