Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
