Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He better not be in your backpack
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
