get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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