Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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