FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
