Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
