He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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