she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
