We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
