that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Panties = found
Randomize
