You smell like stripper and shame
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
