$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
