hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i out mim tonsoeep
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
