4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
