is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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