Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
