hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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