Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
